I'm a FLIPPIN' QUADRILLIONAIRE!!!!

PRESIDENCY

OFFICE OF THE PAYMASTER GENERAL

FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA

ATM CARD PAYMENT FOR FUND BENEFICIARIES
INTERNATIONAL CREDIT SETTLEMENT
OFFICE OF THE DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS
CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA.

ATTENTION BENEFICIARY :

THIS IS TO OFFICIALLY INFORM YOU THAT WE HAVE VERIFIED YOUR CONTRACT /INHERITANCE FILE AND FOUND OUT THAT WHY YOU HAVE NOT RECEIVED YOUR PAYMENT IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT FULFILLED THE OBLIGATIONS GIVEN TO YOU IN RESPECT OF YOUR CONTRACT / INHERITANCE PAYMENT.

SECONDLY WE HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT YOU ARE STILL DEALING WITH THE NONE OFFICIALS IN THE BANK ALL YOUR ATTEMPT TO SECURE THE RELEASE OF THE FUND TO YOU. WE WISH TO ADVICE YOU THAT SUCH AN ILLEGAL ACT LIKE THIS HAVE TO STOP IF YOU WISHES TO RECEIVE YOUR PAYMENT SINCE WE HAVE DECIDED TO BRING A SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM.

RIGHT NOW WE HAVE ARRANGED YOUR PAYMENT THROUGH OUR SWIFT CARD PAYMENT CENTER ASIA PACIFIC, THAT IS THE LATEST INSTRUCTION BY THE PRESIDENT ALHAJI UMARU YAR'ADUA WHO WAS ELECTED IN ON THE 29TH MAY 2007 (GCFR) FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA.

THIS CARD CENTER WILL SEND YOU AN ATM CARD WHICH YOU WILL USE TO WITHDRAW YOUR MONEY IN ANY ATM MACHINE IN ANY PART OF THE WORLD, BUT THE MAXIMUM IS TWO THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS PER DAY, SO IF YOU LIKE TO RECEIVE YOUR FUND THIS WAY PLEASE LET US KNOW BY CONTACTING THE CARD PAYMENT CENTER AND ALSO SEND THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION:

1.YOUR FULL NAME
2. PHONE AND FAX NUMBER,
3. ADDRESS WERE YOU WANT THEM TO SEND THE ATM CARD
4. YOUR AGE AND CURRENT OCCUPATION
5. A COPY OF YOUR IDENTITY ATTACHED TO E-MAIL

CONTACT PERSON:

DR.BRIAN BROWN
INTEGRATED PAYMENT DEPARTMENT
EMAIL: dr.patrickazziza05@gmail.com OR

office.governorcbn200701@yahoo.co.uk

TELE PHONE: +234-8037-437781

THE ATM CARD PAYMENT CENTER HAS BEEN MANDATED TO ISSUE OUT $100,300,000.00 AS PART PAYMENT FOR THIS FISCAL YEAR 2007. WHICH YOU ARE ADVICE TO CONTACT NOW THAT THE NEW ELECTED PRESIDENT HAS TAKEN OVER THE GOVERNMENT FOR THE RELEASE OF YOUR FUND.

ALSO FOR YOUR INFORMATION YOU HAVE TO STOP ANY FURTHER COMMUNICATION WITH ANY OTHER PERSON(S) OR OFFICE(s). THIS IS TO AVOID ANY HITCHES IN FINALIZING YOUR PAYMENT.CALL ME ON MY DIRECT NUMBER +234-803-7437-781AS SOON AS YOU REPLY TO THIS IMPORTANT MESSAGE FOR FURTHER DIRECTION IN THIS REGARDS AND ALSO UPDATE ME ON ANY DEVELOPMENT FROM THE ABOVE MENTIONED OFFICE.

NOTE: THAT BECAUSE OF IMPOSTORS, WE HEREBY ISSUED YOU OUR CODE OF CONDUCT, WHICH IS (811) SO YOU HAVE TO INDICATE THIS CODE WHEN CONTACTING THE CARD CENTER.

(MR. SADIQ ALMAN)
CHIEF AUDITOR TO THE PRESIDENT
FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA
ATM CARD PAYMENT FOR FUND BENEFICIARIES,

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SNIP

HOLY CRAP!

I'm RICH folks, RICH!!!!!!

Happy Halloween :)

Took the kiddies to my Mom's house for some gooooooood trick or treating (everyone knows the good stuff gets passed out in the nicer neighborhoods) :)
FULL SIZED CANDY BARS PEOPLE!!!!

The photographer in me is kicking my inner child's butt for not getting a shot of my kids candy bags, the pumpkins, the insane displays some of these houses had...

I did, however, get this fabulously mediocre shot of a tree with some red, orange and yellow leaves. Something about it made me smile.



She Who Rules The House was dressed as Mulan, and Future Cardiologist was a pirate.

All three of us have been ill this week with the creeping crud (YES, that IS the medical term for it!), but we still managed to hang in there. Mr EpiJunky stayed behind with my Step Dad and passed out candy and terrorized small children.

With the new time change this year it was the first year ever that we were able to trick or treat with some daylight... The weather was kind to us, a little windy, but no winter coats and gloves this year, and most importantly, NO RAIN.

Future Cardiologist and My little Brother, The Responsible One


My Mom and She Who Rules

The Pimple That Won't Go Away....

DAMN YOU BLEEDING PIMPLE WHY DO YOU VEX ME?????




The Bleeding Pimple Story.

I'm a site meter junky, I wont deny it. Imagine my shock when I realized that the majority of my google searches were for solutions to a FRICKIN' BLEEDING PIMPLE! *SCREAM*

Selflessness Versus Selfishness

When I think about growing up in a lower middle class neighborhood, I keep coming back to the amazing sacrifices that my Mom made for us. We were fortunate; we had a home, actually, a very nice home for the neighborhood we were in. (Looking back it really wasn’t that bad of a neighborhood—Today it’s totally different.) We had food on the table. When we went anywhere my mom made sure we were clean and pressed. We were able to attend the same local Catholic school my mom attended as a child. My mom did her best to make sure we had everything we needed, from the material to the emotional. And she did an fantastic job. She's one of my true real life heroes.

For all of this to happen, my Mom sacrificed untold amounts. She worked constantly, sometimes two or three jobs at a time. None of the jobs were anything she actually enjoyed. Managing a cosmetics counter, working at a modeling agency as a scout (they actually sent my HOT mom to a private all boys high school once – I remember her saying it was one of the most degrading moments of her life.), and her least favorite, bill collector. I remember her just having to force herself to go. She didn’t complain much, but I knew she hated it. She was doing what she had to do to provide for us.

Fast forward 20 years. I’m happy to say she has a job she enjoys, and she’s very good at it. She makes great money, and doesn’t dread getting up for work in the morning. She has the best work ethic of any person I know.

I’m grateful… I’m SO grateful… For EVERYTHING she’s done for me, my younger brother, and my family.

Here’s where things get a little…sticky.

In the past my Mom has expressed her displeasure with me working an EMS job. She did change her tune a little bit as I progressed through Medic school, but now that I’m taking a mod off (Going back in May to finish up), she’s reverted back to her anti-EMS stance. She doesn’t have a problem with me working fifty hour weeks as a dispatcher (a job I’m quickly learning to DESPISE), but doesn’t want to even entertain the idea of her daughter working on the road. When I found out I was going to have to take a break from school she actually told that it “was God’s way of saying I wasn’t supposed to be an EMT.” I’ll come back to that in a moment.

Here’s where the problem lies. I don’t want to dispatch. I want to work on the road. Maybe that’s not clear enough. I DO NOT WANT TO DISPATCH. I WANT TO WORK ON THE ROAD. *Stomps her feet for good measure* If She Who Rules has taught me anything, it’s how to throw a very impressive tantrum.

I realize that I probably sound like a spoiled brat… I get that. After all, I’ve been out of work for awhile, and I just found this job, and it pays halfway decently, and I should be grateful I have a job and just shut my mouth and do it to the best of my ability.

The problem is that my heart and soul is in EMS. I love everything about it. I’m a geek like that. :)

Okay, let’s go back to Mom telling me that God was telling me I wasn’t meant to be an EMT.

In the last week I’ve had two calls for interviews at Ambulance companies. One is local company and would result in me doing transfers all day long. Twelve hours a day, five days a week. I’m okay with this, but I’d rather work an ABC shift (24 on, 48 off). The other is for a company that does primary 9-1-1 runs in several nearby cities. I’ve been trying to get an interview with them for six months. Bonus: It’s a 24/48 shift. BINGO.

Looks like God thinks maybe I’m supposed to work in EMS. *smirk*

My mom thinks I’m being selfish by wanting to have a job where I LOVE to get up in the morning. Her reasoning is that “Not everyone gets to LOVE their job.” And I know that’s her past speaking, and she has a point. Not everyone does get to do a job they love. But my point is, if you have the opportunity, why wouldn’t you jump on it? As long as I’m not putting a financial burden on my family by accepting the position, why shouldn’t I do it? I'm married, my Mr EpiJunky has a good job, a job he LOVES, and he makes good money doing it. I wouldn't be taking a pay cut by accepting this job.

My mind is made up.

I’ll let you know how the interview goes.

Now... what to tell mom?

Meme self tagged from Hammer...

List 5 things that you consider an accomplishment but might be considered lame by others.

1. I was named Ohio DECA High School student of the year.

2. I won a years tuition at a local community college by winning a trivia competition.

3. I consider every test I took and passed in Medic school an accomplishment.

4. I photographed and scrapbooked every major (and minor) event of my son's first three years.

5. I'm an excellent public speaker thanks to a high school teacher. I've given speeches on free enterprise to the local Rotary Club, Shriners, and several professional women's groups.

5.

Proof Jesus is a Buckeye Fan...

Okay, for some of you it may be in poor taste, but I never claimed to be classy :)

GO TRIIIIIIIIIIBE!!!!! er... GO BOSTON (See edit)

GO TRIBE!!!!!!

Last game of the tied series and they're down by one in the 7th.

I'm sending this out on behalf of any fan of any team of any sport who has loved a team... even when they sucked. And anyone who's followed the Tribe knows what I'm talking about.

Go get 'em boys...


**EDIT** As soon as I posted this my boys were scored on twice. Mr. EpiJunky pointed out that EVERY team I've ever cheered for has choked at the last minute in key games. (Duke, Green Bay, THE University of Michigan to name a few) so I take it back. GO BOSTON!!!!

Mom, it looks like the hill is on fire!

Future Cardiologist, She Who Rules The House, and I went out to Lake Erie to take some pictures. I really wanted to get some nice shots of the kids together... I had visions of them running through the sand at the beach, or sitting on the steps that go down into the water...

Future Cardiologist was all for it...

She Who Rules....Not so much.

My Baby Boy :)

She Who Rules having meltdown number three...

The Steps...


Well, at least she's smiling

SUPERSTAR!!!!

My second day of work and I was asked to be in a commercial :)

Not as a dispatcher, mind you, but as a patient.

The gentleman who hired me was the "white shirt" in the shot, and there was another guy there as well.

I bet after ten takes of loading my big ass into that ambulance they wished they had picked someone else. Then again, a few of the other options, maybe not.

I probably look like some crazed maniac in the shots... I was trying my best to not laugh and not look at the camera or my new boss, but failed miserably. All this from a pseudo photographer. I knew better but couldn't help it.

Can't wait to share some footage :)

At least I looked good. I was a cute crazed maniac :)

Seriously?

Seriously?

Okay, so I like a beer as much as anyone else (Some days more even :)) but this is ridiculous.

Thinking Pink....

These are links to some posts by Addicted to Medblogs... It wasn't until today that I stumbled across her through Disappearing John RN.

The writing is sad, but beautiful. That's the only way I can describe it. As the niece and stepdaughter of Breast Cancer Survivors... Well... Please just go read.

A Kernel of Corn - The Beginning

A Kernel of Corn - The Middle

A Kernel of Corn - The End

WHOOOOOOO!!!!

Guess who's gainfully employed :)

The good news is I have a job.

The bad news... well, it's not bad, it's actually really really good news... uhm... er...

I was hired as a frickin' dispatcher.
And I've never dispatched.

I'm open to suggestions on how to keep road crews happy... Having been on the road for a short time I have the basics down, but still, I'd rather not be known as "Satan" (If you haven't read Ambulance Driver's EXCELLENT novel, Star Of Life, you must. Satan makes a few appearances.

Guess who has an interview... :)

ME ME ME!

I apparently can write a pretty wicked cover letter. Wish me luck!

I really need this. I really really need this.

When Mommy Brain and Medic Student Brain meet.

Working in EMS and going to Medic School you’re taught a variable plethora of things. Blood Glucose Monitors can be used to test for CSF. A woman with back pain could be having a MI. Low bgl’s can mimic a stroke. A kid with a fever and neck pain will probably end up with a spinal tap. All kinds of fun stuff. Over the past year (okay, year and a few months) in school I’ve learned a lot, particularly when is something an emergency vs. when it’s not. (I realize in this paragraph I may be simplifying things a bit)

I think, in general, I’m pretty good at this. I’ve LIVED Medic School since August 2006. I DREAM about it. I basically irritate my family and friends with facts no non-ems person would know. NO ONE will watch any type of medical show with me. Not even ER.

So you would think that this would come in handy when you have children or family members asking you for advice, right? Well, family members, maybe. Kids… Not so much.

One of my babies is sick.

Rewind to last night. It’s after 10pm. The kiddos are in bed. Mr. EpiJunky is watching some football game. I’m looking at pictures of Paris (FRANCE, people... Not that rich bimbo with ties to a certain hotel chain).

Future Cardiologist: “Mom?”

Me: “You should be in bed little boy”

Future Cardiologist: “I’m so cold I can’t stop shaking… But I’m not really cold.”

He’s burning up. Take a temp, it’s 103.1. Here’s where the Medic Student and the Mommy begin to do battle.

Medic Student Brain: Send his butt back to bed with some ibuprofen.

Mommy Brain: (Glares at the Medic Student) Don’t take that tone with me… This is my baby... Who I’m going to send to bed after I give him a hug and his stuffed animal, his fire blanket, and some water and some ibuprofen.

They manage to stay out of each other’s way until the next morning when Future Cardiologist wakes up. He’s on fire. And his back hurts. And his leg hurts.

Medic Student Brain: Guess he needs some more ibuprofen. I need some coffee.

Mommy Brain: HE STILL HAS A FEVER? Tylenol, ice water, cool washcloth and love… STAT!

Medic Student Brain: *Rolls her eyes* Aren’t you being a bit dramatic?

So I load him up on Tylenol, get him some water to drink, a cool washcloth, and his favorite stuffed animal. We set up camp in the living room. I check out his leg, which he says hurts. A few of the bites on his left leg look like they could be infected.

Mommy Brain: YO! Medic Wanna-be… Come here and check out these bites.

Medic Student Brain: *Perks up* Did you say infection? Like sepsis?

Mommy Brain: Go away you sick bitch.

Medic Student Brain: Damn. Guess you’ll be hitting up the pharmacy for some antibiotics, yeah?

An hour and a half later his fever has actually gone up. It’s now 104 point something.

Mommy Brain: I’m calling an ambulance, MY BABY IS GONNA DIE FROM SOME HORRIBLE INFECTION…

Medic Student Brain bitchslaps Mommy Brain into submission and calls Future Cardiologist’s Pediatrician who is as unimpressed as Medic Student Brain is. We wait another hour and a half and give him ibuprofen again on orders from the Pediatrician.

It’s now three in the afternoon. Medic Student Brain is napping on the couch and dreaming of 14 ga angiocaths and adenosine while Mommy Brain freaks the hell out.

Mommy Brain: *biting her nails* Something is not right. His fever should be coming down. And he’s not acting right, even for being sick. In the past when he’s been running a fever he could still run circles around me, and now I can’t even get him to walk to the bathroom from the living room. He doesn’t want to drink anything, He doesn’t want to even *TRY* chicken noodle soup, and he cries at the drop of a hat. He’s burning up. He’s going to have brain damage. He could have meningitis or something.

Medic Student Brain: Did someone say Meningitis?

Mommy Brain: Shut the fuck up.

Medic Student Brain: Fine! You WIN! Call 911 and tell them your baby is febrile and you need a Lifesquad. Better yet, let’s call the bird… We can have him to the hospital in a minute and a half instead of five minutes.

Mommy Brain: You think they would send Lifeflight?

Medic Student Brain: (sarcastically) I’m sure they would for your baby boy. After all, he’s been running a fever for 16 hours. That’s definitely grounds for air transport.

Mommy Brain: This is sarcasm, isn’t it?

Medic Student Brain: Yes, you stupid twat. This is sarcasm. Make sure he’s drinking plenty of water, keep up on his Tylenol, and ii you’re still freaking out in another couple of hours, call his Pediatrician back and see what he says. You know you’re looking for any excuse to see him anyway.

Mommy Brain: Shut up.

Medic Student Brain: I can’t blame you, he has the cutest dimples.

Six pm rolls around and his fever still is hovering around 103.5. Even after multiple doses of Tylenol and Ibuprofen.

Mommy Brain: That’s it. He’s going to the ER.

Medic Student Brain: You’re on crack. Kids can handle fever better than adults. And it’s not even at 104. Give him another couple of hours and then call his Pedia—

At this point Mommy Brain snaps and kicks the ever loving shit out of Medic Student Brain. Medic Student is promptly hog tied, gagged and stuffed into a dark damp corner of the garage. Mommy Brain, feeling victorious, loads her precious baby into the SUV and heads off to the local peds ER.

Okay… I realize that the medical folks who might be reading this at this point probably think I’ve lost my mind. But this is my baby we’re talking about. I was very polite to everyone, apologetic even. I felt guilty even asking for a blanket for my 7 year old who was shaking he was shivering so badly. Of course they wouldn’t give him a blanket, they just gave him a sheet. They said it was because of the fever.

A quick sidenote: *I* was even cold. And I was wearing pants and a long sleeve shirt.

Here’s where it gets really fun. Fifteen minutes after they give him a gown to change into and a sheet, they take his temperature again. It’s come down considerably. Only 100.7 now. He says he feels better.

Mommy Brain begins to think that all he needed to cure his fever was a trip to the ER. Literally. We could have sat in triage for free, if I had known this would work.

Then I notice something odd. He’s breaking out into hives. EVERYWHERE.

Medic Student Brain: *groggy* Hives?

Mommy Brain: Didn’t I leave you bound, gagged, and UNCONSCIOUS in the garage?

Medic Student Brain: Trauma scissors have many uses, Grasshopper. Now make yourself useful and go get a nurse.

At this point I still feel guilty for bringing my son to the ER for a fever, so I sheepishly approach our very stressed and overworked nurse and let her know that my son is breaking out into hives. She says it’s “probably the gown or the sheets” and lets me know she’ll have the Doctor check him out. I retreat to the room.

At this point Medic Student Brain and Mommy brain join forces.

Medic Student Brain: He’s breathing alright, right?

Mommy Brain: Yes.

Medic Student Brain: And he’s acting alright. Right? He’s not even itching. Look you’re being more of a pain in the ass to him than the hives are, right?

Mommy Brain: Yeah, he’s playing the Gameboy and ignoring me, so I guess he’s okay…

Medic Brain: See… He’s just having a reaction to something… probably in the sheets or gown, as he’s not had anything to eat today and he hasn’t had anything as far as drugs in the last couple of hours… It’ll be okay… just wait for the Doctor to come in… They’ll probably just give him some benedryl and he’ll be fine. See… it’s just hives… it’s okay.

At this point, at least in my head, Medic Student Brain was giving Mommy Brain a back rub.

The Doctor came in, and did exactly what Medic Student Brain thought he would do. He ordered Benedryl. He wasn’t even interested in the fever… In fact he chastised me for bringing my son in for a fever that wasn’t even 105. Seriously… 105? It wasn’t the fact hat he was running a fever of 103 (which granted, was finally beginning to come down once we got to the ER), it was the fact that despite the Tylenol and ibuprofen, it HADN’T come down. Add to that the back pain, some infection, and now a rash with hives.

You’re going to think I’m making this up, but hand to God, as soon as the Doc was finishing up his lecture, Future Cardiologist vomited on his shoes. Medic Student and Mommy Brain exchanged high fives.

Should I have taken him to the ER? It’s hard to say. Future Cardiologist’s Pediatrician called me back later on tonight and said I did everything right (He was checking on us. He’s so sweet. I wonder if he’s single). In reality, my boy’s fever would have come down at home, of course, I didn’t know that at the time I took him in. As a matter of fact it’s now after midnight and his fever was up again an hour ago. At least he’s keeping fluids down again, and the hives are gone thanks to the benedryl. We have a script for keflex for his leg…

So maybe in my case Medic Student Brain and Mommy Brain need to learn to sit around the mental campfire and sing kum-ba-ya, make hobo pies and roast marshmallows and shit. I’m not sure the end result would have been much different, but at least EpiJunky’s head wouldn’t hurt so damn much.

On the other hand, maybe I need to seek help for my obvious multiple personalities.

Uninspired, but believing in miracles.

I realize I haven't posted in quite awhile... on either blog. Let's just say that I've not been inspired by anything other than ridding my house of the flea issue I've had. This *points to link below* brought me to tears. Make sure to read the backstory. Miracles do happen.

Just Peachy!: Miracles