Submitted for your approval...

There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area where logic does not apply. It is the area which Epi calls *pause for dramatic effect* The Dispatch Zone.

For the LIFE of me I do NOT understand what goes on in some of our dispatchers heads. Not all of them, not even most of them. A select special few.

Let me start by saying that the dispatcher who we have most of the time is one of the best dispatchers in the world. She is amazing. She is efficient. She takes care of us. She calls me "Baby". I love her. I'll refer to her as Mom Dispatcher. Mom is fantastic. But if you cross her she'll run your ass into the ground.

On the opposite end of the spectrum we have... The Twilight Zone Dispatcher.

Up until a week ago we couldn't hear her on the radio and we'd have to ask her to repeat herself or we'd have to call dispatch to find out what she was saying. Finally someone with some power said something to the right person and they either got her a different mic or turned her mic on or something because we can hear her now. LOUD AND CLEAR.

We can hear her sending us to post in one area, then sending us to post in another area across town while she sends yet another unit to post where we just were. (Lather rinse repeat)

We can hear her send us from one hospital all the way across town to another hospital to pick someone up when there's a unit already at that hospital.

We can hear her send a unit that is at the end of their shift to pick up a patient that is right around the corner from us. When we speak up she declines our offer to pick up that patient and instead sends us twenty minutes across town to take a patient to an appointment that they were supposed to be at five minutes ago.

We have another dispatcher who routinely sends us on runs that have been on the board all day... FIVE MINUTES before we're supposed to be off the clock. I'm not talking about emergency runs, I'm talking about transfers. Luckily since I've been working with Partner McHottie I haven't had that happen. Before that... Yikes. Three out of four shifts for Sleepy Partner and I would end at least an hour after we should have been home. I'd come up with a name for him but being a good Catholic girl... well, I just can't put it in print. (Okay, you can all stop rolling your eyes.)

Okay, so I'm done ranting... I'm just sayin'.