McHottie meets Pseudo Dad

McHottie is my current partner. He's 6'3", never been married, no children and 33 years old.

Pseudo Dad was my partner at my last employer. He's 6'4", been married three times, has adult children (three if you count me!), and is 49.

McHottie listens to hard rock.

Pseudo Dad listens to Journey.

McHottie has a thick head of hair.

Pseudo Dad... well he's... Let's just say his hair isn't so thick anymore.

McHottie has been an EMT for a few years.

Pseudo Dad has been an EMT for a few decades.

They are quite different. That's probably understating it a bit. So imagine my shock today when we met up in a hallway of a local hospital and they BONDED. They bonded over stories where I make an ass out of myself.



Pseudo Dad: Hey Epi... That's a new look for you... Very Pollyanna! (I had my hair in pigtails)

McHottie: (To Me) That's Pseudo Dad?

Epi: Yes, Pseudo Dad, meet my partner McHottie. Hey, did you happen to notice my stellar parking technique down there? I can back that truck up like it's no ones business!"

Pseudo Dad: (looking at McHottie) Her parking's okay?

McHottie: She's doing okay actually! (He winks at me. Score one for McHottie!)

Pseudo Dad: So... You sick of her yet? Are you sending her back to us?

McHottie: Am I sick of her yet? Nooo... She's great, really!

At this point I feel the need to check him for a fever.

Pseudo Dad: She's a good kid. (He's smiling. He BETTER smile.)

Epijunky: Yeah, you BETTER tell him that... Sheesh. I was a good partner to you! Don't you dare sell me out!

Pseudo Dad: Hey, did she ever tell you about her first body donation run? (Edited to add: The original story is in the second half of that post)

Epi: Don't you dare...HEY... PSEUDO DAD... I WAS GOOD TO YOU!!!

McHottie: (Perking up) No, I don't believe she has... (He walks over to Pseudo Dad, who begins regaling him with the tale of the body)

I decide to retrieve my patients face sheet and talk to Pseudo Dad's new partner.

Epi: Are you sick of him yet?

Pseudo Dad's partner: (deadpan) Since day one.

We walk together back over to Pseudo Dad and McHottie. McHottie is doubled over laughing.

Pseudo Dad: And she's screaming PSEUDO DAD I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!! I've never heard so many four letter words come out of a woman before. We laughed for a good fifteen minutes, tears running down our faces.

McHottie looks at me. "I cannot WAIT to get a body run with you."

Epi: Oh shuuush.

I look at Pseudo Dad who is practically dying. "I won't forget this one, Pseudo Dad. You're gonna pay."

Pseudo Dad's partner starts laughing, "Ooooh YOU'RE gonna PAY!"

Epi: Well, as much fun as this has been, and believe me, it's been an absolute thrill, we need to get out of here.

McHottie takes the head of the cot and we start to head towards the elevator with Pseudo Dad and his Partner.

Pseudo Dad: You miss me, Epi, you know you do. Make sure you tell him about run with the dog and the firefighters.

Epi: I hate you. Shush. No more Epi stories.

McHottie starts laughing again.

Epi: Seriously, I hate you all.


Fyremandoug said...

MMMkay now ya got to post the dog and the firefighter story now Dear Epi

Epijunky said...

Here ya go hon

I hope I'm doing that right, my html is a little rusty to say the least.

Evil Lunch Lady said...


emily said...

Yeah, so . . . I shared Doctor Steve. Where is the love? (and the photo in my email?)