I am SO blessed.

I'm exhausted.

I'm so tired that I can't see straight. My 32-year-old body is rebelling against me. My back has hurt for the last three weeks. The glands in my neck are swollen to the size of ping pong balls. My voice is gone. I'm sure I'm running a fever but I have no idea where the thermometer is. I'm simultaneously wracked by chills and the sensation of being entirely too warm. I've been fighting off the plague for the last two days.

I'm losing the fight.

Work is wearing me thin. There's more than a few posts there, but I just can't bring myself to do it right now.

I have two friends who I'm so worried about I'm having a hard time sleeping. When my cousin took my BP tonight it was 212/110. And since my gastric bypass I very rarely run higher than 110/74.

There is so much drama in my life now that I could write my own self help book five times over.

All of that being said, I am ridiculously blessed.

I am loved.

I am so loved.

I love you.

(Quick Edit: To the Anon commenter. I know who you are dipshit. Screw you you worthless piece of shit. I'll make Satan look like a girlscout.)


Anonymous said...

So go to bed. Why are you still awake?

Kindly let the anon know that I know who he is as well. And I'm not nearly as nice as you are.

Laura said...

You have two beautiful kiddos there, epi! F--- the trolls, girl, don't let em get to you!! (let the rest of know who he is...we'll get him!) It sounds like you need a mental health day and a trip to somewhere fun (park, beach, mountains, SOMEWHERE) for the three of you to chill out together!

Keep your chin up and your priorities on your mind. You are SOOOOO right. You are blessed!


Epijunky said...

Matt... You and your arsenal are not helping. :) But thank you.

Laura-- Thank you so much for the compliments, they are kind of cute :) And Dickhea-- I mean the anon poster will make himself known soon enough I'm sure. The mental health day is coming soon. VERY VERY soon.

Medic61 said...

Oh, sweetie :(
You worry me sick! Please get some rest, and know I'm thinking about you.
Oh, and your kids? Adorable.

Now I've got to go catch up on this anon drama! <3

Firefighter said...

Love that ending edit, was that your high BP talking?

Epijunky said...

Hey Sam... Girl, so now you know.

He's the reason my comments have to be approved now. Dirty bastard :)

Firefighter: Quite possibly :)

Doug said...

Epi, take care of yourself and I hope everything resolves itself soon for you. Then if you feel better, I hope you come back here, share your stories, and remind the rest of us there are moments of pure joy to be found on the transfer trucks - in case we sometimes forget.

Epijunky said...


Thank you.

I'm working on it. But thank you.

Evil Lunch Lady said...

Feel better kiddo:) And try to get some rest! Nasty colds going around here also......it's July Dammit!

Bernice said...

Hang in there Epi. Keep finding your joy in those beautiful faces.

Carol said...

No matter what else is happening, those two smiling faces are what matters at the end of the day.

Let the rest go to hell. Take a break, recharge the soul, enjoy the laughter of your children and realize that YOU are important - to many.

Rest well.

emily said...

Must be something in the air. I am headed to my PA tomorrow to try to get in front of my stress levels...and get my cholesterol checked.

My thoughts are with you.

Medic 66 said...

back hurting for 3 weeks? Has someone not heard of icy-hot?

Ohio Fire/medic said...

You have two great looking kids there. Now I'm jealous.
Get some rest and feel better soon!