Here we go all over again.

Future Cardiologist's first day of Kindergarten. August 31, 2005

I cried the whole way to the school. He didn't even notice. His little five-year-old body could hardly contain his excitement. He asked me what the bulletin board read behind him as I took this picture and I couldn't talk. Thank goodness his Daddy was there to fill him in and point out where his pair of flip flops were. I left him at the door and started the long trip back to the house.... without my baby boy.

First day of First Grade 2006

This time I didn't cry the whole way to school, just when I got him to front door. He still needed me to walk him to his class, which I gladly did. This year he was able to read the bulletin board to me and find his own name on it. Daddy stayed home with his little sister, who was too young to notice that Big Brother was going to be gone for the next nine months during the day. I got him settled at his desk, gave him a kiss on the head and retreated to the hallway, watching him from the door for a few seconds.

First Day, Second Grade 2007

"Mom, you don't have to walk me to class if you don't want to," FC was busy brushing his teeth and making sure his hair was okay. His speech has become significantly clearer, and his self confidence is higher. One of his best friends from last year will be in his class again.

Still, I have a lump in my throat. "You... don't need Mommy to walk you in?" I try not to sound too crushed. I want him to be more independent, but I wasn't prepared to be dismissed at the front door of his school quite yet.

"Well, maybe just to the door, you don't need to come into the classroom, I'll walk in with Jeremy."

I smiled... One more year.

The drive the the school was without tears. The walk into the school was without tears. When he didn't come back out to the car with us... Well, one of his girls lost it.

She Who Rules, realizing that her Big Brother isn't coming home to play just yet.

She sobbed hysterically the entire way home. I managed to hold it together.

We're preparing to repeat this for the fourth time in a few days here... While I feel better about the whole process (No guarantees that I won't shed a few tears), I still worry. I worry that he'll get picked on. I worry that he won't stand up for himself when the bigger kids bully him. I worry he's too eager to please everyone and that it will get him in trouble.

We share so many traits. We're both so emotional. We both cry at the drop of a hat. Luckily we both have a deep desire to constantly learn more about things. And that's something I hope never changes in him.

First day of Third Grade is coming up on Monday. I'll let you know how it goes.


Ohio Fire/medic said...

Good luck. You have two great looking kids. I never had kids and I can only imagine leaving them for the first time with someone else. I bet it is tough.

Hammer said...

It's hard to do.

where my kids go the kids are dropped off in the library or cafeteria and the parents are discouraged from escorting...the kids are usually fine but when the parents start crying the whole place falls apart.

Epijunky said...

Ohio: Thank you so much for the compliments... They take after their Daddy, that's the only thing I can come up with. It's beyond tough trusting their care to someone other than myself.

Hammer: I wish that they did the same for us. To my credit I did my best to hide my tears. He stayed tough even when I couldn't.

EE said...

Karate!!! Put them in Karate, they'll be black belts by the time they graduate high school if they stick with it! Then they'll be able to defend themselves, for sure.

Adorable kids.

Ambulance Mommy said...

in about 4 years, I'm going to be the one sobbing my eyes out. As it is, I can barely handle it when he wanders off at the playground without a backward glance to see if I'm following.