Last year at the beginning of the school year (when we were going through the whole flea debacle) I noticed a huge change in Future Cardiologist. The little guy who in the past had cried on the days he had to stay home from school now had no interest in it. In fact, he was dreading school.
Determined to get to the bottom of what was going on, I sat him down and grilled him using every motherly trick in the book until he would talk.
He was getting picked on. This kid was pushing FC, teasing him, and trying to talk his Best Friend into "not being best friends" with him. FC has a very difficult time making friends. This was a serious thing to him. My child was being reduced to tears over it. I know that this is typical grade school crap, but it broke my heart. I talked to his teacher who assured me she would keep them separated and keep an eye on the situation. Things got better for a few months.
Fast Forward to February, 2008.
I was waiting outside of FC's school to pick him up. It was snowing, the wind was blowing, and in general it was just one of those days that you curse anyone and everyone because you're standing outside, well, in the damn snow. I was huddled up against the side of the school building trying to stay out of the wind.
FC's class marched out of the door and almost instantly I saw this little brat, er, child, shove my son. Hard. FC stumbled. The brat yelled at FC to "MOVE OR I'LL PUSH YOU AGAIN!"
OH HELL NO. I don't care if this kid is the son of the PTA president (he is) or President of the United Frickin' States (he is not).
I came close to losing my damn mind. Instantly and without thinking I dropped to my knee and looked this little punk, er, eight-year-old, in the eye and simultaniously spoke to my son.
"Who is this little boy who is pushing you?"
FC spoke up with a renewed confidence. "That's Evil-2nd-grade-demon!*"
(Holding my evil glare) "Well someone needs to tell him that it's REALLY NOT A GOOD IDEA to push other kids in his class. You never know when that kid will PUSH YOU BACK."
Okay, not my proudest moment. At least I didn't invoke Santa, the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy.
That Little Shit (his now given name between my Mother and I) left FC alone for the rest of that school year. Up until today.
He pushed my kid again. I saw him do it. And my Son is not yet to the point where he'll push back.
*EXHALE*
FC is in third grade. I know he needs to learn how to stand up for himself. My problem is that in my current situation I don't know how to teach him that. I'm going to talk to his teacher again, or at least that's what I think I should do. I just don't know.
My son is tenderhearted. He's a good kid. I know he needs to grow a thicker skin and learn how to stand up for himself.
I just don't know how to teach him that. If you have any advice I'd really appreciate it.
(*My name for the little brat, not FC's)
Please stop me before I go postal at FC's school
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7 comments:
Sounds like it is time for the good old kick-him-HARD-in-the-shin-and-run technique. FC is a fast runner right?
Ugh, what an ass that little kid is! My Dad always told me that if anyone hit me or kicked me, that I was in my right to hit/kick them back. He'd only be proud of me, though, if I did it three times harder. Heh.
Not sure if this is an option for you, or if FC is up for it, but martial arts are usually good for kids with confidence issues (especially the kind that are steeped in history...not some of these new-fangled ones). I've found that it doesn't actually make them want ot fight (just the opposite if you have a good teacher...if the kid fights, he's in trouble with his martial arts instructor as well as at school and home), but it gives them the confidence to know that they COULD if they needed to.
Usually, that confidence is all the kid needs. The bullies see them holding their head up a bit higher, and leave them alone. Goo luck to you and FC!
Man! He IS a Little Shit! I wish I had some great wonderful diabolical plan for you, but I don't. I am tempted to tell you to teach FC how to kick and kick hard but on the other hand, turning the other cheek may be what fits his personality more.
Then again, for me, my bark is far worse than my bite (or nibble depending on who you talk to). But because I bark so danged loud, not many people want to chance my bite. Basically, good luck. You are an awesome mom and you will get it right.
This random unhelpful comment was brought to you by Bernice and the letter D.
Bullies are like balloons - pop 'em hard one time, and they generally go away.
It may be worth the suspension he'd likely get.
Judo Lessons....one well placed foot sweep and whamo, it will if you find the right dojo teach him alot about himself
“It is better to have a slightly wimpy child and instill resilience, than to try and instill empathy in a child who has none.”
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